Thanks for sharing your work with us, Sam.
I noticed a few things that could be improved:
1. The melody in line 6 on the first page for "preached of grace" does not sound right. The reason why it doesn't sound right is because if we look through the formulas on pp. 844-848 of my formulas book, we'll see that whenever a cadence ends on Di like this:
Ga, Di [second-to-last syllable]
Di (for two beats) [last syllable]
the third-to-last syllable is always on Ke, not Di.
You can easily fix this by replacing the klasma on the word "preached" with kentemata, and then by replacing the apostrophos on the word "of" with an elaphron (without removing the kentemata that follow).
1a. You need a number "3" on the words "flesh" and "them" in line 5.
2. The melody in line 8 on page 1 for "faith they had transcended the law" rushes down too quickly to Pa before making the final cadence on Nee. I think it would sound much smoother if you were to use the 010001001 formula on p. 817.
3. For that martyria on Low Di, don't forget to put the delta
above the hard chromatic symbol instead of below it.
4. In line 10 on page 1, the melody for "unto the souls..." does not sound right because (if I'm not mistaken) this formula never has the syllable on Di (the syllable "-to" in this case) of plagal second held for only one beat. To fix this, I think you would have to hold "-to" for two beats. But since this is the unaccented syllable of the word "unto", you would also need to hold "un-" for two beats. Perhaps something like this would be best:
un- Pa, Vou
to Nee (two beats)
Also, since the word "Wherefore" has two syllables, the first of which is accented, it should also receive a melodic accent. So instead of just:
Where- Nee
fore Nee
you could write:
Where- Pa
fore Nee
But this suggestion is not obligatory, since I have noticed that not all classical compositions in Greek melodically emphasize every single syllable of a heirmologic bridge. If I remember correctly, it is the Anastasimatarion of Petros Ephesios that tended not to melodically emphasize every single accented syllable.
5. I have the feeling that the melody for the first two syllables on page 2 is only valid when the second of the two is held for two beats. I would fix this by using the following melody:
did Nee
they Vou
fore- Ga
tell Di
I would also hold the low Di (preceding this) for three beats (or add a one-beat rest after it), since a measure of 4 beats sounds better than a measure of 3. Besides, I think that holding cadences that are very high or very low for a longer time not only sounds better but also makes things easier for the chanter to regain his bearings, so to speak.
6. Another point worth considering for the melody on the first three lines of page 2 is that there are quite a number of notes to be chanted from the martyria on the previous page to the martyria on line 3 of page 2. You might want to consider inserting a break after the word "Nativity". A smooth way to do this would be to insert a vareia and an ison before the apostrophos for the syllable "-ty", and then add an aple to that apostrophos. And then, of course, you would add the number "4" there.
7. The words "was the" in line 3 of page 2 would sound less monotonous (in my opinion) if they were on Vou and Ga instead of both on Di, especially considering that none of the notes directly before or after them go below Di.
8. I question how valid your melody is for "from corruption". Even though this is a valid formula for plagal second mode, and even though plagal fourth melodies do transpose temporarily to plagal second, I have observed that they only place a hard chromatic fthrora of Di on Di when the melody is about to go down to Pa (or Nee). Occasionally it will go down only to Vou, but in those instances, it is really a Vou with an isaki or a tsakisma, which means it still goes all the way down to Pa, even if only momentarily.
Since your melody goes down only to Vou (and can't have an isaki or tsakisma), I think it would be more proper to use a zygos fthora. Since I don't see any that would let you end on Di for this syllabic pattern, I would use the second-to-last 010 formula on p. 868 that ends on Vou. You would need to precede this with the word "from" for two beats on Di. Then, you could continue with the word "O" on Ga, and your melody for "Lord" as it is on Di-Ke-Di, etc.
If anyone disagrees with any of my comments, please speak up!