Lesson 05 - July 27 St. Panteleimon, Lord I have cried Doxastikon, Plagal of Second Mode

frephraim

Παλαιό Μέλος
#2
Dear Michael,

Thanks for helping out with this project.
I looked over your composition, and I was delighted to see that there are only a few minor things that I think need correction:

1. You forgot to put a diatonic fthora of Di above the martyria in line 4. Also, the proper way of drawing the hard chromatic martyria for Di is not as you have it in lines 4,9, and 11, but as you have it in the last line: i.e., without a line through the center of the circle.

2. The melody in line 7 for "to festive celebrations" is sort of okay, but it doesn't give enough emphasis to the first syllable of the word "festive." I think the first of the two 0100010 formulas on p. 531 would work better. Another option that would also work would be to use one of the 01010 formulas on p. 538. Since these formulas provide a melody for only the last five of the seven syllables that our phrase has, we can create a heirmologic bridge for those two syllables, by putting the word "to" on Di, and "fes-" also on Di, but with a petaste beneath it, since it is an accented syllable that will be followed by a single descending note. (Since we want the next note to be a descending note, we won't be able to use the second of those three 01010 formulas on p. 538, since it starts with an ison.) I'll let you choose between using the 0100010 formula or one of the 01010 formulas.

3. I am not entirely satisfied with the melody at the beginning of line 9 because it slightly overemphasizes the unaccented syllable "-ing". I realize that (for some reason unknown to me) this particular formula is used somewhat frequently in Greek troparia having the same accentuation pattern that we have, creating the same problem of slightly overemphasizing an unaccented syllable. I guess the Greek composers couldn't think of any better way around it, and resorted to this formula (i.e., the 01000010 formula on p. 552). Considering that there is no punctuation after this phrase in question "for the wonderworking physician" we could get around this problem by just using a heirmologic bridge for it and then seamlessly joining it with the sticheraric melody you have for the next words "is come to us," which do end with a punctuation mark. We could try to create our own melody for this heirmologic bridge, but since there just so happens to be one already in the lists of formulas, we might as well use that one, which is the 1010010 formula on p. 551.

4. The melody on line 10 for the words "healing the sicknesses of all" is fine, except for the heirmologic bridge you made for the first two syllables: "heal-ing". If neither of these two syllables were accentuated, your melody would be fine. But since the first syllable is accentuated, it would be better to change your melody to account for this. This can be done simply by putting the syllable "heal-" on Ke instead of Ga. In other words, it will have a petaste, and then "-ing" will have an apostrophos.

5. The melody on line 11 for the words "even Panteleimon" would be a valid melody for a heirmologic bridge in some modes, but I can tell from experience that this mode does not use melodies like that for heirmologic bridges. We could use the 100010 heirmologic bridge on p. 551, or the 010X010 formula at the bottom of the same page. And then we continue by using your melody for the following words: "the steadfast athlete;" But the problem with the 010X010 melody is that the "X01" part of it has the exact same melody that was used on the previous line. Using it twice in two lines would sound monotonous. Perhaps the best option would be to use one of the 1001010 formulas on p. 539 for the syllables "-leimon the steadfast athlete;" and then to create a heirmologic bridge for the first four syllables: "even Pante-".

Everything else looks wonderful. Keep up the good work!

in Christ,
+Fr. Ephraim
 
#3
Dear Fr. Ephraim,

Enclosed are the changes. Not very sure how to write "heiromologic bridges" (see attempt on line 11).

Also had a question on your comment #5 above "melody on line 11 ... this mode does not use melodies like that for heirmologic bridges". I was trying to using the original melody for that phrase in the Mousike Kypsele -- adding a couple notes before for the extra syllables "e-ven". I may have missed a syllable in the original (because of my lack of familiarity with Greek)? Is that what made it not a proper heirmologic bridge?

In any case, thank you for your time. This is very helpful to me. I hope it is to others.

In Christ,
Michael
 

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frephraim

Παλαιό Μέλος
#4
Dear Michael,

It looks much better now. There are just two more things that we missed:

1. In line 11, there is a petaste for the "e-" of the word "even". But since it is followed by more than one descending note, it must be written as an oligon with a psefiston, according to the orthographical rules.

2. At the very end, there should be a vareia before the word "be".

Regarding my criticism in #5 of your heirmologic bridge in line 11, the original melody there goes: Pa-Vou-Ga-Di-Di, whereas yours went: Ga-Vou-Pa-Vou-Ga-Di-Di. My gut feeling is telling me that your melody is not correct, but it would have been alright if the initial Ga-Vou were replaced with Pa-Pa. I realize that my gut feeling could be wrong, because I am essentially relying on the precision of my imperfect memory rather than relying on formulas I have written down. If anyone can prove me wrong by finding this melody in a sticheraric plagal fourth mode troparion, please do so. But I still feel pretty sure that my gut feeling was right.

And one last general comment regarding your writing: I said that I would be retyping everyone's rough drafts, so it doesn't really matter how neat your rough drafts are. But just to make things easier for people to read your music, allow me to suggest that when you draw the petaste and the elaphron, they should be about three times as wide as they are tall. And also, when you draw an apostrophos as the mirror image of the letter "C", bear in mind that the horizontal length of the top part of it should be about twice as long as the horizontal length of the bottom part.

Thanks again,
+Fr. Ephraim
 
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