Things are looking good, Basil.
One thing I wasn't sure about is if one is allowed to begin a hymn in plagal first mode with a jump up of 6 notes. But since I'm not sure, I guess we can assume it's alright unless someone else can tell us it's wrong.
One little oversight is that the number "4" is missing from the beginning of line 7 on page 2.
On page 2, line 11 begins with the word "unto", which is accented on its first syllable. Even though this word is generally not really emphasized, there really should not be a vertical line preceding the "-to" but the "un-". So I think it would be slightly more correct to replace the "4" in the previous line with a "3", and then put the vertical line before the "un-". Then, of course, you will need another "3" above that syllable, followed by another vertical line three beats later.
On page 3, there should be a "4" above the word "him" in line 5. In the same line, there should also be a "4" above the first kentemata after the syllable "prize-". In the following line, there is also a "4" missing above the word "George".
As usual, I couldn't find anything seriously wrong with your composition. Keep up the good work!